We get angry when we are stopped doing something. Or when we don’t get our way. We get angry when our desires are not fulfilled, or when people don’t agree to our viewpoint. Many times we get angry when we find our views at great variance with others and are not able to understand the other viewpoint and disagree with that.
List your friends. Think about a situation and imagine the reactions. For example, let us say that the situation is this – your friend is sitting in a restaurant and someone spills something hot on his/her hands unintentionally. Now imagine the reactions from your list. You will write reactions that will vary greatly. You will imagine a friend of yours laughing it off and another friend calling the manager and making a big scene. The reactions are different because they are controlling their anger differently. How?
Some of us never take things very seriously. So they don’t get angry over small things at all. That is the nature of these people. Can we use any techniques to control anger? Let us examine. Do you react immediately, or think about what went wrong before reacting? Those of us who react spontaneously, get angry fast. Those who think about it before reacting are able to understand and control their emotions better. Why not count up to ten before reacting?
Understanding others viewpoint helps in many situations. As we have our viewpoint, so do others. Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? Why not at least try and understand what they think and why? If your boss is angry with you, you need not react immediately. Give some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to his anger. If at the end you realise that his/her anger was totally unjustified, you chose to forgive and not react angrily.
So, Here’s what you could do to overcome Anger
- Find some quiet time to understand the trigger points of Anger.. Eg:- When did you last lose your temper and what cause you to lose it.
- Find time to understand that it is your REACTION to this trigger that causes harm to yourself and others.
- The good news is although external triggers may be difficult to control, your reactions can be easily controlled.
- Close your eyes and imagine how the ideal you would like to react to such triggers.. calm and patient reaction instead of losing it. Imagine how that perfect you would keep your cool amidst any heated situation and the calm it gives you and others as a result.
- Now Imagine how you usually react.. the angry you. Imagine this Angry image of you on a post card — clear bright and large right in front of you.
- Now imagine the ideal you on a smaller post card on a side of the other one.
- Close your eyes and in your mind let this smaller picture — the ideal you break through the negative picture and appear bright and big before you. Open your eyes.
- Do this a few times until you no longer would notice your negative picture — the one with your angry face.
-Technique by Niloufer Perera
This is an amazing technique that would help you replace your behaviour to a positive one make a remarkable shift in your life. Try it out and let me know how you feel!
Emotions such as anger can be controlled.
It needs reflection.
It needs practice to exercise restraint.
By winning over your anger you will become a better person. Make your anger your slave and not get enslaved by it.